Despite 4 or 5 decades of the women’s movement and a quieter men’s movement positively impacted by Bly, Katz and Biddulph, the old male stereotype is still dominant - you know the idea of a “real man” based entirely on big muscles, big macho bravado, big stud, big drinker and of course, fearless big fighter. These are not the qualities of manhood which will ensure good families, communities, nations and survival for humanity. The grip of this powerful programming is one reason that I understand the idiot behaviour of many of our famous sporting icons - that programming for males in the sporting world is extremely powerful.

I contend that a real “real man” is a newly evolving man, one with qualities that will help enable the survival of our species, there have not been many of his kind before. He will be partnership oriented - partnership with himself, with other humans and with nature.

The partnership with self is crucial! I have met many well intentioned (I have been one) people who desired to help humanity and the planet only to find their personal weakenesses destroyed all their good intentions.

Example! Bill Clinton’s addiction to sex and women (see previous articles) illustrates the widespread repercussions one man’s unhealed shadow or dysfuntion can have. In his case those repercussions might include the war on Iraq, lots of deaths, increased global fear and terror, high oil prices and so on.

Most of us may not have the global influence that he did but our own unhealed shadow will impact all those who cross our paths. That is why I keep pushing the unpopular notion that in order for us to be healthy and develop a healthy, sustainable form of masculinity, we have to build our emotional and psychological fitness.

More on healthy masculinity soon. What do you think?