The great Australian ‘buck’s night’ tradition is Neanderthal to say the least. We have all heard the horror stories about the ‘buck’s night pranks’ enacted by the ‘mates’ of the groom—some leading to permanent injury and/or psychological damage—some causing the impending marriage to end.
It is time for the decent men of this country to say - ENOUGH! It is time to stop ‘male bonding’ activities that demean women as the majority of buck’s nights do. The traditional ‘buck’s night’ is a product of the old dominator style of masculinity. A quick look at the state of the world attained under that model heralds the urgent need to adopt a new male ideology -  one based in partnership with all humans and nature. 

Before we go any further it may be useful to read a true account of a ’stag’s night’ in the US that I was accidentally ‘embedded’ in. It was such a horrific occasion that I was compelled to write about it. Incidentally the story has been taken up on websites all around the world.  The story can be found at -http://sustainablemasculinity.com/2007/10/27/rafting-in-the-cascades/ or just ‘Google’ pip cornall rafting sexism etc.

Clearly ‘buck’s parties are a ‘rite of passage’ for the groom and the changed relationship with his ‘mates.’ That being the case it would be possible to design a ceremony that honoured our humanity and our differences as men and women. As you can see from the end of my rafting story most men are unhappy with many ‘male bonding’ activities, but feel powerless to change anything. This is where the new male courage is needed—the courage to oppose unhealthy masculine peer actions.

I’d appreciate hearing from groups who believe they have developed a humane and worthwhile buck’s night. We could start a new craze!